Went to Mr. Untung's House

“Follow me where I go / where I do… / make a part of you to be a part of me. / follow me up and down all the way and all around / take my hand and say you follow me… I try to find a way there are make you understand...”

Some parts of lyric from John Denver entitled Follow Me which is reminding me of two lecturers I admired the most. Mr. Untung and Mrs. Heny. First time I listened that song sung by them at their house it melted all of us as their young students. It was so sweet and made me envy to have a great relationship like them. Met by friendship and a rude way of life, they live their life to look after each other. Can I face the love story such as them? I’ll never know. Mr. Untung was playing guitar then Mrs. Heny sung this romantic song for us. During lying down in my bed and listening this song, I initiatively think about it and, then, I write it (as usual I do—think, write, think, write, think, write…).

In my life, finding someone who has similar ideas and hobbies—or interesting—as I am is not hard. I can find it in every place I go, every business I take, everywhere. But in fact, I only loved the man who was really really really really really contradictive! He was such an opposite person in my life. What should I say to ask God the reason “why”?

My head is getting frustrated and sorrow in fixing this time—its condition. Sometimes I beefed to God, “Can I restart my mind to delete all beloved things about him?”; “May I to go somewhere easily by one eye-wik?”; “God, am I strong enough to pass this problem?” many more. God perhaps think that I am a fussy girl at that time.

In the other side, the more I try to stay away from him, the more I get closer. Again, I begged to God, “My Lord, You know the best. If you want me to be with him, let me stand by him. But if you have another better plan for me and him, please separate us in a good way.” And the result: IT IS GETTING WORSE!!

This man, he instruct me to not go anywhere without him. Not go in a far away with another man he doesn’t know. I am not allowed to get a ride with men, blablablaa….. Such a selfish man. But inside, deep deep inside in my heart, I know why he does it. The reason untold has been keeping in my mind. If you ask me why I know, the answer is I don’t know. I just know. Yeah, just know. No matter what—whether it was lie or truth, I am still into him and follow my deepest heart to do what I am supposed to do. Ugh, “what kind of relationship we have, yung?”